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Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy, by Andrew P. Smiler
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Silver Medal Honors in the EUREKA! Excellence in Children's Nonfiction Award
Written for teen boys, Dating and Sex provides them with the knowledge they need to understand dating, relationships, and sex. It goes beyond basic descriptions of biological processes with a progressive, practical approach that relies on secular ethics and emphasizes sexual health and personal responsibility. The book addresses common questions about what's typical, provides a framework for dating and sex that fits their values and identity, and helps boys identify what feels right for them in a variety of common situations.
- Sales Rank: #78031 in Books
- Published on: 2016-09-05
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .80" w x 5.40" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 208 pages
Review
Smiler...has written an insightful and engaging work that explores dating and sex in a nonjudgmental manner.... Overall, this is a refreshing work that covers a number of pertinent issues (body image, masturbation, sexual identity, etc.) with sensitivity and clarity. --School Library Journal
It's for boys who need answers to questions they don't even know they have....Smiler does an excellent job of urging boys to consider what type of people they are what makes them tick, what makes them unique and reminds them frequently how that will change and evolve for the rest of their lives. --Chicago Tribune
Even though Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy is written especially for young men, it is filled with practical, invaluable wisdom for readers of all ages and both genders....Highly recommended, for public and school library collections, and a 'must-read' for teenagers everywhere. --Midwest Book Review
Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy does a great job of presenting information about healthy relationships, sex, consent, puberty, and more in a friendly and fact-based way. Smiler is a therapist and researcher who specializes in male sexual development and relationships, and his extensive knowledge of and experience with his subject are evident throughout. KateLinnea.com
Issues of consent, gender roles, stereotypes, and the often-confusing and little-discussed emotions in boys' early sexual experiences add up to a substantive, thorough treatment of the topic. --Publisher's Weekly
There is so much misunderstanding about adolescent male sexuality and about adolescent males, so much that there is a distance between who boys actually are and who we think they are. Dating and Sex goes a long way towards sensitizing the reader to normal adolescent male development without making it scary or deviant. Parents may wish to read it as well to better understand the adolescent males in their life. This is a great resource for psychologists and counselors, too.
Matt Englar-Carlson, PhD, Professor, Department of Counseling, California State University, Fullerton
This is a wonderful book! It should mandatory for all boys (and girls would find it a good learning experience, too). It's right on target with the things boys want to know. They can be a tough audience to reach, and if any book has the chance to do so, this one does.
Joanne Davila, PhD, Professor and Director of Clinical Training, Department of Psychology, Stony Brook University
Hey guys! Have you ever had questions about changes to your body, how to ask someone for a date, how to decide whether to have sex, or how to be careful and considerate of your partner if you do have sex? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, then this is the book for you. Written by Dr. Andrew Smiler, a national expert on boys and their needs, Dating and Sex is a really cool, easy-to-read, and helpful book that will prepare you for the world of dating from now through your early adult years.
Mark Kiselica, PhD, Psychologist and Author, When Boys Become Parents: Adolescent Fatherhood in America
In a society saturated by either disinformation or mis(sing) information, it's more than just "refreshing" to finally have a book that lays it all out for guys. It's imperative. Andrew Smiler's even-handed, judicious, and down-to-earth book will become the go-to book for teen guys and those who love them. Michael Kimmel, PhD, SUNY Distinguished Professor of Sociology and Gender Studies, Author, Manhood in America and Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men
Every boy will find himself in the pages of Andrew Smiler s Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy. It speaks honestly to boys in their own language without ever talking down to them. The content is inclusive of the wide spectrum of ways teen boys define and experience themselves, and the illustrations are engaging, clear, and useful. I highly recommend this book and am delighted to add it to my own classroom library of resources on healthy sexuality.
Al Vernacchio, MSEd, Author, For Goodness Sex: Changing the Way We Talk to Teens About Sexuality, Values, and Health
Dating and Sex is a modern, very inclusive and deeply thoughtful guide for a wide array of young guys. Well-organized and accessible without skipping on depth, this book is a fantastic starter guide for teens who want something gender-specific. It includes important food for thought about identity, including masculinity, consent, gender, sexual orientation and body image, and talks about sex and relationships in ways that will serve young men and their sexual or romantic partners as well as their families and greater communities very well. I'm so glad that some of them will get the benefit of Andrew Smiler's great smarts, care, sensitivity and kindness. --Heather Corinna, Founder and Director, Scarleteen
As they enter the world of puberty, dating, sex, and romance, teenage boys are often confused or ill informed. Dr. Smiler has astutely and judiciously anticipated the questions teenage boys have about becoming young men. Though geared toward boys, this book will prove critical for their parents and anyone else who cares for the sexual and romantic wellbeing of teenage boys. Based on Dr. Smiler's extensive reading of the research literature on sexual and romantic development during adolescence, this is advice at its best.
Ritch C. Savin-Williams, PhD, Professor of Developmental Psychology, Cornell University
What a great contribution to the psychology of sexual health and relationships literature! Teen boys will love this book because of its direct, no-nonsense approach, and parents will embrace it because it contains information that they may want to discuss with their teenage sons yet may be uncomfortable talking about. As a psychologist, I would suggest it to others to use in their practice with their clients and parents of clients. I actually would like to have a copy for my own pre-teen sons!
Linda R. Mona, PhD, Chief Consultant and Director of Clinical Operations, Inclusivity Clinical Consulting Services
Some people think that what it means to be a man is changing. Dr. Smiler cleverly reminds us that the only thing changing is society's very narrow definition of a traditional male. This book helps the cause. It's an eye opener for any parent.
Wendy Walsh, PhD, Clinical Psychologist and Host, The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show, iHeartMedia's KFI AM Los Angeles
I am so very grateful for this book, for Smiler's frank, measured, comprehensive discussion of sexuality for boys. I've already shared it with friends' high-school aged sons and they all give it two big thumbs up! --Peggy Orenstein, Author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter and Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape
From the Inside Flap
Written for teen boys, Dating and Sex provides them with the knowledge they need to understand dating, relationships, and sex. It goes beyond basic descriptions of biological processes with a progressive, practical approach that relies on secular ethics and emphasizes sexual health and personal responsibility. The book addresses common questions about what's typical, provides a framework for dating and sex that fits their values and identity, and helps boys identify what feels right for them in a variety of common situations.
About the Author
Andrew Smiler, PhD, is a therapist and author residing in Winston-Salem, NC. Dr. Smiler holds a PhD in Developmental Psychology from the University of New Hampshire and a Master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Towson University.
Dr. Smiler is the author of Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male (Jossey-Bass/Wiley) and co-author, with Chris Kilmartin, of the best-selling Men's Studies textbook The Masculine Self, 5th Edition (Sloan publishing). He has authored more than 20 journal articles and book chapters relating to boys, men, sexual development, and identity issues. Dr. Smiler is a regular contributor to the Good Men Project and has also written for The Shriver Report, Role/Reboot, Huffington Post, and Everyday Feminism, among other venues.
Dr. Smiler is an associate editor (2015-present) for the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity. He was president of the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity (2011), and currently serves as the Chair of their Communications and Media committee (2015-2017).
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Michal Votruba
A great read for teen girls as well. It's good to know the other side.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Four Stars
By Emmelien Grahn
Bought this book for my son and daughter in law, their son is 14.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Repairing the damage from abstinence only education
By David J. Ley
I first met Smiler through our common friendship with Laci Green, Youtube sensation and sex educator. Smiler has specialized in working with male sexuality issues, and with teen boys, and his work brings a pragmatic, grounded and holistic view of sex to the fore. Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy is a wonderful resource, for teens, educators and parents. It coves issues ranging from how to ask a person out to how to break up, how to put on a condom correctly, and even how to know whether your penis is the “right” size. There is a wonderful section on consent, a critical issue in today’s world, where high school and college issues of consent are ruining peoples’ lives. Smiler recognizes that it’s hard to be a teen today, in a world flooded with both sexual stimulation and sexual anxiety. He sees boys who fear that their bodies aren’t as muscular as those of men in superhero movies, and he helps boys who fear that their sexual desires are unusual and uncommon. If I were a teen boy today, I would devour this book. we need more information out there for teens, to counteract the fear and shame and lack of accurate information which has been promoted by abstinence-only models for so many years. Frankly, I believe that the United states must expect decades of sexual dysfunctions, relationship conflicts, and sexual conflicts, as we deal with the lingering effects of abstinence-based sex education.
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